The Perks of Being a College Irregular Student

Jecon. 18. Struggling Political Science student. Soon-to-be a Filipino major. Anlayo lang sa 'jeconomics' kong username, di ba?

"…leaving and being away would change my life and open wider doors."

When I post about Philippine History and Languages: 4 likes
When I post something about One Direction: 40 likes

Why?!

I’m scared of what the future might bring. I’m scared of the undeniable possibility of suffering in this country. I’m scared of the undeniable possibility that I might go back to the comforts of my family in the United States. 

I don’t wanna leave this country. 

Ayokong umabot sa puntong tatawagan na ‘ko ng mga kamag-anak at sabihing, “you should come back to the United States.”

Prince Michael of Prussia died yesterday, April 6

His Royal Highness Prince Michael of Prussia died yesterday at the age of 74 because of natural causes. 

HRH Prince Michael was the son of His Imperial and Royal Highness Prince Louis Ferdinand I of Prussia and was a direct descendant of Wilhelm II, German Emperor, King of Prussia. He was an uncle of the current Head of the House of Hohenzollern, His Imperial and Royal Highness Georg Friedrich, The Prince of Prussia.

His descendancy is as follows:
His Majesty Wilhelm II, German Emperor, King of Prussia -> His Imperial and Royal Highness Wilhelm, German Crown Prince, The Prince of Prussia -> His Imperial and Royal Highness Louis Ferdinand I, The Prince of Prussia -> HRH Prince Michael of Prussia

Thoughts on shifting (again)

Tomorrow, pupunta na ‘ko sa University Registrar para iproseso yung mga dokumento para sa transfer credentials. This decision won’t just affect my present standing as a student, but also my future in making my career. 

Hindi ko maikakaila sa sarili kong matino akong estudyante. Mga grado ko sa major subjects nagra-range from 1.1 - 1.8. May iilang 1.0 sa minors. I am, basically, doing really good in Political Science. Pero, why come to this decision na pagshi-shift? Araw-araw, tinatanong ako kung bakit. Pwede ko naman raw i-master’s na lang yung shi-shift-an ko. Sayang raw yung dalawang taon ko sa PoliSci, konting push na lang, gra-graduate na. Kung anu-ano pa pinagsasabi ng mga tao sa paligid ko. 

Ako, mismo, ‘di ko masagot mga katanungan nila. Hindi ko lang talaga feel ang Political Science. Hindi sapat yung matataas na grado to satisfy my contentment. May hinahanap lang talaga ako. I’m not saying that I am not satisfied with the education that my university, for two years, has given me. I have learned tons of new ideas. Misconceptions have been corrected. Maaari kong ma-consider na one of my puruits in life is to change the image of politics in the minds of the common tao. Politics is one of the most beautifully-complex field of study there is. 

Again, why shift?

Ayoko maging liability. Oo, sa tingin ko, if magpapatuloy ako sa PoliSci, magiging liabilty lamang ako sa discipline. Instead of solving the concurrent problem, I might just exacerbate it. 

Outcomes-based education

Ganyan na ang trend ngayon, applying the theories that you’ve learned in real life. The thing here is that (1) I am not a leader which can change the face of politics and (2) I am not that appealing para ma-convince ang mga tao sa maaaring kong ituro sa hinaharap. I may be practicing what I preach, are the people around me doing the same thing? Am I the kind of person that people can actually look up to? No. I’m leaving that job to those that are really capable of doing it. 

So, ano’ng balak mo ngayon? Ano’ng shi-shift-an mo?

Sa mga nakakakilala sa’kin simula high school, alam nilang lahat na sa mga college applications ko, top choice ko ang Linguistics or kahit anong language studies, mapa-Filipino, German and even Esperanto. 

Those languages speak of who I am, my identity as Jecon Dreisbach. Itinataguyod ko ang paggamit ng sariling wika bilang mode of instruction sa mga eskwealahan at mode of transaction sa mga ahensya ng gobyerno at mga kompanya. Ba’t gustung-gusto kong hasain yung paraan ng pananalita ko? Ipinanganak at lumaki ako sa Pilipinas but I can’t even speak Tagalog or Bisaya fluently. Dreisbach ako but, for the past three generations, we can’t even speak a single German word. (Well, I guess na-understandable ‘yan since the family moved in to the United States after World War I. Still, I believe that we need to, really, construct and be consistent with our true identity, being Germans, not just considering having roots in it.) I was brought up, put in a school that had been socially-constructed by American ideas. English daw was the language of democracy, the language of the developed, the intellectuals. In the same way my maternal grandmother was brought up, she spoke Spanish because of the same reasons. I can easily write in Tagalog, but when it comes to speaking it, well. Imbis mahagkan ko ang kultura ng mga ninuno ko, nilalayo pa ‘ko ng isang wikang patuloy na lumulupig sa mga ideyang taliwas dito. 

Isang paraan para mahasa ang pagsasalit ng isang wika is to expose yourself with its native speakers and its natural environment. I’m pretty good at speaking Cebuano now considering having lived in Cebu City for 2 years. (Thank you to the very humble Cebuanos for accepting me.) Pero, gusto ko talagang maging bihasa sa Tagalog. It is the language that we predominantly speak in Mindanao and, basically, everyone in the Philippine schools are studying it. Masakit man sa loob ko, kailangan kong lisanin ang lugar na itinuring kong tahanan sa nagdaang dalawang taon para maabot ang pangunahing layuning matagal ko nang itinakda bago pa ‘ko nag-aral ng Agham Pampulitika. 

Bagong topic naman. Gusto ko maging makamasa. Gusto kong pumaroon kung nasa’n ang karamihan ng mga common tao, kung saan makikita ko ang katotohanang nangyayari sa’ting lipunan. Magshi-shift ako dahil, sa paniniwala ko, mas makatutulong ang disiplinang pag-aaralan ko sa na maabot ang pagiging makamasa. For the longest time, hindi pinakikinggan ang mga tinaguriang ‘karaniwang tao.’ Ang nagsusulat ng ating kasaysayan ay yung mga may kapangyarihan, ang mga taong maimpluwensya. Gusto kong baguhin ang pananaw na ‘to. Gusto kong mailahad sa lahat ang mga nangyayari sa kanila. Paano? Magsusulat ako para sa kanila, aasang, sa pagdating ng panahon, ay mabago ang pagtingin sa mga magsasaka’t mangingisdang nagdala sa’tin ng pagkain sa hapagkainan, sa mga katutubong Pilipinong nagbibigay-kulay sa ating malawak magandang kasaysayan at lahat ng maralitang pinagkaitan ng kung ano ang dapat na sa kanila. 

Magshi-shift ako dahil gusto kong maging mata ng common tao and, at the same time, maging boses nila upang maiparinig ang kanilang mga hinaing sa kinauuklan. 

Oo, inaamin kong napaka-ideal ng gusto kong mangyari para sa sarili ko at sa bayan. One has to stand up for it. Again, ayokong maging liability sa discipline ng politics, gusto ko maging paraan sa pag-unlad. Naniniwala akong ang pag-aaral ko ng wika at kulturang Filipino ay magiging daan patungo rito. 

Huling mensahe?

Sobrang laki ng pasasalamat ko sa mga taong nakasama ko sa nakalipas na dalawang taon. Sadyang napakaraming nagbago at nag-improve sa buhay ko at lahat ng mga ito’y dahil sa inyo. Salamat sa mga learnings ko sa PoliSci na nagpaigting ng aking kagustuhang makamit ang pinapangarap ko para sa’king sarili. Katulad ng sinabi ng guro ko sa international relations, I will still and always will be a student of politics. Ibang larangan lamang ang tatahakin ko, ngunit ang patutunguhay ‘di magbabago, improve the discipline of politics and, sana, yung mga taong inaasahan kong baguhin ang imahen ng politika’y magawa ang kanilang trabaho sa pamamagitan ng mga trabahong gagawin ko sa hinaharap. 

I don’t know all the answers but I have hopes.
Don’t act like you dying from cancer, tied in ropes.
You want shit to change, rearrange your mind first.
Then we can begin to lift this curse. 
'Cause we faceless,
people living on the basis,
that we evil in this racist

place where we taste this
discrimination.
Damn, do I hate this,
Man just erase this,
constant complacence.
We constantly facing
a storm that’s been raging
inside these rib cages.

I get no love, from my own people,
I’m a disgrace to my race, a culture-less individual,
Plus, I ain’t the typical, model minority,
Being a scholarly intellectual ain’t my priority.

That’s me, an ABC with no future.

My grades are shitty, even if I had a tutor.
I ain’t good with books, that’s just my nature.
But being foreign and all, must mean I’m a failure.
'Cause that is what is expected,
If you don’t follow the trend, you ain’t respected.

'Di ko sinasabing hindi ako kuntento sa kung nasaan man ako ngayon. Pero, ang akin lang, I deserve to be somewhere better. 

Man is an insatiable being. ‘Di mawawala sa’kin yung maghangad nang mas mataas.